Gren leaves, and Spike comes back. Right after all that shit yesterday. I need a new gig.

I can't believe he's back.

Look. Don't touch.

He bites. And he's got rabies.

With that out of the way, I need some antibiotics and about a million miles of catgut and Jet. Anyone who knows how to stop idiots from permanently bleeding all over your couch ( Read more... )

You guys again?

Say anything about my wardrobe and I swear I'll punch you in the face. Actually, come anywhere near me at all and I swear I'll shoot you.

...Unless you want me to use you as target practice. You're probably all slow enough that it wouldn't even be a challenge, though.

Really pitiful.

Fine, Omar, so I lied. I might've gotten... just a couple

At least some of them are true, but the rest of them are complete bullshit.

As usual, you can't trust this damn place as far as you can throw it. They don't even have any useful clubs like Morons' Association or Idiotic Vampires United.

What a waste. What a week.

[ooc; while it's never ( Read more... )

Just a warning, if any of you guys eat one of these things with the word 'COLD' on it, a purple one, you'll be sorry. I hear that one tastes like shit. And it makes you puke. You'll probably end up in the hospital. Or worse, dead. It's probably best just to stay away from those ones.

As far as the rest of you go, at least some of you people are ( Read more... )

Sooooo... what's for dinner?

Oh, and just a reminder: if anyone out there tries to skin me for my beautiful red fur, I'll shoot you tomorrow before you even get a chance to say anything about a coat. Don't be jealous just because you weren't blessed like me and got turned into a hairy ape or something.

Idiots. I need to go bury something.

[ooc ( Read more... )

Look, idiots. Just because I suddenly have a few extra pieces doesn't mean I don't know how to shoot a gun anymore. The next person to say anything is getting a mouthful of bullets. And I mean anything.

So all those little comments you've been saving up for this kind of thing? Don't even think about it. If you even think I'll get offended, don't ( Read more... )

MMMGGGGHHHHMMMM!

[something bumping walls, tables, couches, appliances, windows... muffled noises all the while.]

Muuuuuup mmmmmmmmmmm!

MMMMggggMMMM!

[silence, more stumbling around, something being knocked over. loudly.]

Mhmph.

[ooc; I'm aware this post is ridiculous. Trust me, the bandages will come off and speech will resume. No, she ( Read more... )

( Private to Cori | unhackable )

It was cute the first time, but now this is just getting repetitive. All the explosions are just a little bit over the top. It's like someone's compensating for something. What the hell are they playing at? Going after the carousel?

I hope none of you idiots are actually stupid enough to go with them. Haven't you ever heard of not taking candy ( Read more... )

( private to Edward | Edward's filters | unhackable )